Update: Managed to haul my ass out of the house to treat myself to McDonalds Hotcakes AND an Egg Mcmuffin with Sausage. Came back home and took two hours to write 136 Super Crappy and Utterly Meaningless words.
Not Good.
One Very long nap later, I had an Epiphany:
My Hero was a Loser.That's why reading over my words was like sipping tepid tea.
That's why writing was a chore instead of a labor of love filled with Squee-Into-The-Pillow moments.
So I went and picked up a few of my favorite romance novels and came up with the following things that my hero must do to redeem himself in my eyes. Hey, I've got the time. Why not?
Here's a few things that I came up with:
- My hero must be ruthless, mericless and vow that no woman can ever tame him.
- He will now have hair as black as sin and/or the night. (pffft. Why I originally gave him sandy brown hair, I will never know.)
- His shoulders will grow a few inches to make them officially "Impossibly Wide." I will chisel his cheekbones, bronze his skin and am considering throwing in... wait for it... dimples!
- I will bad-ify him, perhaps giving him some issues with authority, a disarming charm and unrelenting passion.
- He will be domineering, lethal, highly posessive and sexually agressive.
- I will throw in the cliched-but-still-so-wonderful Jeaslousy Scene, where he goes ape shit over an innoncent smile she offers to his BFF/Waiter/Nemesis what have you.
Yes, this is going to be better. Much, much better. Ladies get ready to throw your panties at my new and improved Hero, now with a capital "H."
I plan to spend most of today doing some more *ahem* research. And why not? I'm ahead of the game.
Famous last words? We shall see. We shall see.